1 00:00:04,888 --> 00:00:05,982 Where is my desk ? 2 00:00:08,266 --> 00:00:09,009 That is weird. 3 00:00:09,825 --> 00:00:12,885 This is not funny, this is totally unprofessional. 4 00:00:12,939 --> 00:00:14,879 Okay, well, you're the one who lost the desk. 5 00:00:14,988 --> 00:00:17,286 - I didn't lose my desk - Okay, calm down. 6 00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:18,972 Where was the last place you saw it ? 7 00:00:19,008 --> 00:00:20,440 Okay, who moved my desk ? 8 00:00:20,973 --> 00:00:22,569 I think you should retrace your steps. 9 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:25,251 Okay, I am going to tell Michael. 10 00:00:25,477 --> 00:00:28,330 And this entire office will be punished. 11 00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:30,326 Colder. 12 00:00:33,179 --> 00:00:34,530 Warmer. 13 00:00:35,606 --> 00:00:36,966 Little warmer. 14 00:00:38,039 --> 00:00:39,841 There you go, ooh, warmer. 15 00:00:40,566 --> 00:00:41,640 Warmer. 16 00:00:42,097 --> 00:00:43,343 Warmer, warmer ! 17 00:00:43,547 --> 00:00:45,211 Warmer, cold, cold ! Cold ! 18 00:00:45,285 --> 00:00:46,372 Back up ! 19 00:00:47,996 --> 00:00:50,753 Ooh, ooh, warmer. 20 00:00:50,997 --> 00:00:52,693 Hot, red hot. Hot. 21 00:00:53,737 --> 00:00:54,973 Very hot. 22 00:01:08,188 --> 00:01:09,872 - Dwight Schrute. - Hi Dwight ! 23 00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:13,510 What sort of discounts are we giving on the 20 pound white bond ? 24 00:01:13,746 --> 00:01:16,010 Jim, I've given you this information like 20 times. 25 00:01:16,055 --> 00:01:17,273 I know. 26 00:01:21,107 --> 00:01:22,423 It's by the ream ? 27 00:01:22,826 --> 00:01:25,300 - Uh, yeah. - It is now 9.78. 28 00:01:25,508 --> 00:01:28,253 - So it's a discount of 7%. - Okay thank you, 29 00:01:28,476 --> 00:01:30,142 I got to get back to work. 30 00:01:34,607 --> 00:01:35,993 Wash your hands Kevin. 31 00:02:01,315 --> 00:02:03,553 Saison 2 - Episode 6 The Fight 32 00:02:03,788 --> 00:02:05,423 Script: Nikki (twiztv.com) 33 00:02:05,578 --> 00:02:07,462 Synchronisation Occeane and El Uploador 34 00:02:07,646 --> 00:02:09,590 pmag.f2o.org/theofficeus/ www.forom.com 35 00:02:11,057 --> 00:02:14,292 Right. Oh, well, let me just check the pricing list. 36 00:02:14,337 --> 00:02:16,083 - Hold on one second. - Sensei... 37 00:02:16,625 --> 00:02:17,782 Hello, it's sempai. 38 00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:20,903 Dwight. 39 00:02:21,087 --> 00:02:23,201 You know what, let me give you a call right back. 40 00:02:23,247 --> 00:02:25,700 I'm going to find it and then I'll call you back. Thanks. 41 00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:28,873 Yes, I just had a ques... Yes, sensei. 42 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:32,202 Arigato goazai mashta. Hai. 43 00:02:35,648 --> 00:02:38,683 - Was that you mom ? - No. That was my sensei. 44 00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:43,163 - Thought it was your mom. - I am now sempai, 45 00:02:43,977 --> 00:02:45,833 which is assistant sensei. 46 00:02:46,018 --> 00:02:47,902 Assistant to the sensei, that's pretty cool. 47 00:02:47,955 --> 00:02:49,673 - Assistant sensei. - Okay. 48 00:02:49,806 --> 00:02:54,593 I am a practitioner of Goju-Ryu ka-ra-te, here in Scranton. 49 00:02:55,197 --> 00:02:56,863 - Hai ! - 2 ! 50 00:02:56,956 --> 00:02:59,612 - Hai ! - Dwight, stamp and kick back. 3. 51 00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:05,140 My sensei, Ira, recently promoted me to purple belt. 52 00:03:05,365 --> 00:03:08,081 And gave me duties of a sempai. 53 00:03:08,535 --> 00:03:11,653 Not that a lot of people here in America know what a sempai is. 54 00:03:11,728 --> 00:03:14,692 But it's equally as respected as a sensei. 55 00:03:19,698 --> 00:03:22,272 I don't want to stay until 7:00 again this year. 56 00:03:22,797 --> 00:03:25,571 I don't really have any control over that, Stanley. 57 00:03:30,228 --> 00:03:34,210 Michael tends to procrastinate... a bit whenever he has to do work. 58 00:03:36,248 --> 00:03:39,370 Time cards. He has to sign these every Friday. 59 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,460 Purchase orders have to be approved at the end of every month. 60 00:03:42,568 --> 00:03:44,453 And expense reports. 61 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:48,491 All he has to do is initial these, at the end of every quarter. 62 00:03:48,605 --> 00:03:52,571 But once a year, it all falls on the same Friday. And that's today. 63 00:03:52,825 --> 00:03:54,750 I call it the perfect storm. 64 00:03:54,965 --> 00:03:56,993 "I don't want to work," 65 00:03:57,357 --> 00:03:59,901 "I just want to bang on this mug all day." 66 00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:02,021 Did you ask me here for any specific reason? 67 00:04:02,087 --> 00:04:04,983 Ah, yes, I did. Here's the bizzle. 68 00:04:06,338 --> 00:04:09,683 I have a very top secret mission for you. 69 00:04:09,725 --> 00:04:13,191 I want you to update all the emergency contact information. 70 00:04:13,576 --> 00:04:15,982 - Why is that secret ? - Hello. Oh, God 71 00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:18,372 Busy work. Ah, get away, get away. Cretin. 72 00:04:19,028 --> 00:04:20,802 I put stickers so you know where to sign. 73 00:04:20,846 --> 00:04:22,272 Yes, thanks, I know where to sign. 74 00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:23,621 It's just that last year, you... 75 00:04:23,678 --> 00:04:26,170 Last year, they were out of order, weren't they, Pam. 76 00:04:26,576 --> 00:04:30,372 Well, the last pickup for overnight deliveries is at 7:00. 77 00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:33,692 So you need to have them signed by then. Or much earlier. 78 00:04:33,746 --> 00:04:36,772 Shalax, Pam. Stop Pam-MSing. 79 00:04:38,005 --> 00:04:39,021 That's pretty good. 80 00:04:39,098 --> 00:04:41,442 Actually, I'm sending Ryan on a top secret mission. 81 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:43,853 Tell her what it is. 82 00:04:44,216 --> 00:04:46,022 Updating emergency contacts ? 83 00:04:47,628 --> 00:04:49,463 Well, is that really a priority ? 84 00:04:49,567 --> 00:04:51,423 Is it a priority ? Oh, I don't know. 85 00:04:52,137 --> 00:04:54,221 What if there's a tornado, Pam ? 86 00:04:54,278 --> 00:04:56,232 People's legs are crushed under rubble. 87 00:04:56,398 --> 00:04:59,922 Please, would you be so kind as to call my wife ? No I can't. 88 00:05:00,036 --> 00:05:02,812 Because we don't have any emergency contact information. 89 00:05:02,868 --> 00:05:04,820 Because Pam said it wasn't a priority. 90 00:05:04,965 --> 00:05:06,410 Think. Think with your head Pam. 91 00:05:06,525 --> 00:05:08,322 Okay, well, she walks out. 92 00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:11,983 That's the problem with being a boss, is that when you are tough, 93 00:05:12,237 --> 00:05:15,130 they resent you, and when you are cool, they walk all over you. 94 00:05:16,276 --> 00:05:20,242 - Catch-22. - Catch-22, yes. 95 00:05:23,788 --> 00:05:26,320 Why don't you give me your contact information to start with ? 96 00:05:26,377 --> 00:05:27,723 Okay? What's your cell ? 97 00:05:28,515 --> 00:05:31,870 - Larissa Halpert. - What's her address ? 98 00:05:31,958 --> 00:05:35,393 - 117 Vonburgen Street. - Hello. 99 00:05:36,288 --> 00:05:37,700 Hey Ryan. 100 00:05:39,305 --> 00:05:43,851 This is Michael Jackson, calling from Wonderland. 101 00:05:44,838 --> 00:05:46,010 You mean Neverland ? 102 00:05:47,865 --> 00:05:49,461 This is Tito. 103 00:05:53,065 --> 00:05:54,333 What ? 104 00:05:56,137 --> 00:05:57,641 Calling from... 105 00:05:58,335 --> 00:06:01,073 Your major and minor lines cross at a ridge. 106 00:06:02,508 --> 00:06:03,692 That sucks. 107 00:06:03,838 --> 00:06:05,992 You're making this up as you go along, aren't you ? 108 00:06:06,036 --> 00:06:10,313 - I am just following the web site. - Well, at least I don't have cavities. 109 00:06:10,496 --> 00:06:12,830 Yes, you have very nice teeth. 110 00:06:13,105 --> 00:06:14,303 T hanks 111 00:06:14,826 --> 00:06:16,440 Who's your emergency contact ? 112 00:06:17,157 --> 00:06:18,553 Stacey. 113 00:06:23,325 --> 00:06:24,711 Pick up. 114 00:06:27,088 --> 00:06:28,351 Hello ? 115 00:06:29,368 --> 00:06:31,112 This is Mike Tyson. 116 00:06:34,037 --> 00:06:35,633 Hey, Dwight. 117 00:06:36,678 --> 00:06:39,833 As sempai, do you ever think there's gonna be a day, 118 00:06:40,186 --> 00:06:43,322 where humans and robots can peacefully coexist ? 119 00:06:44,155 --> 00:06:45,440 Impossible. 120 00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,302 The way they're programmed... 121 00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:51,150 - You're mocking me. - No, I'm not. 122 00:06:51,198 --> 00:06:53,492 Well, let me offer you a little piece of advice. 123 00:06:54,068 --> 00:06:57,222 I am not afraid, to make an example out of you. 124 00:06:57,885 --> 00:07:00,853 That's not advice. What advice sounds like is this. 125 00:07:02,248 --> 00:07:04,841 Don't ever bring your purple belt to work, 126 00:07:05,138 --> 00:07:07,480 because someone might... steal it. 127 00:07:07,565 --> 00:07:09,622 - Okay, give that back to me. - Okay, say please. 128 00:07:09,666 --> 00:07:11,710 - No, that is not a toy. - Please. 129 00:07:11,767 --> 00:07:13,122 - Please ? - Good. 130 00:07:13,177 --> 00:07:15,450 And it absolutely is a toy. Arigato. 131 00:07:15,725 --> 00:07:18,711 Arigato. This is not a toy. This is a message, 132 00:07:19,695 --> 00:07:21,270 for the entire office. 133 00:07:21,317 --> 00:07:24,441 So that everyone could see that I am capable of physically dominating them. 134 00:07:27,828 --> 00:07:30,822 And this is more of a ying yang thing. 135 00:07:31,036 --> 00:07:33,943 The Michael is all cursive, Scott all caps. 136 00:07:34,197 --> 00:07:35,573 Left brain, right brain. 137 00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:38,143 Or duality of man. 138 00:07:39,127 --> 00:07:40,661 Could you practice on the forms ? 139 00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,491 No women or children, unless provoked. 140 00:07:47,558 --> 00:07:48,920 Okay, Roy. 141 00:07:49,216 --> 00:07:51,540 - Warehouse guy. Doesn't count. - Okay 142 00:07:51,647 --> 00:07:53,141 Michael. Could you beat up Michael ? 143 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,480 Yeah, I don't think that would happen. 144 00:07:55,533 --> 00:07:58,316 - Cause we're friends. - Because I would kick his ass. 145 00:07:58,459 --> 00:08:01,130 Well, Dwight's a purple belt. So... 146 00:08:01,206 --> 00:08:03,636 So ? I've beat up black belts. Yeah. 147 00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:06,102 How'd you know they were black belts ? 148 00:08:06,197 --> 00:08:07,620 They told me, after. 149 00:08:08,638 --> 00:08:12,492 See, I used to run with a very tough crowd, street fighter types. 150 00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:15,380 Real, real bad people. 151 00:08:15,486 --> 00:08:16,983 I'm just lucky I got out. 152 00:08:17,567 --> 00:08:19,513 Is your wife still your contact ? 153 00:08:19,935 --> 00:08:21,641 Ex-wife, yeah. 154 00:08:22,778 --> 00:08:24,672 Her last name is Becker now. 155 00:08:26,435 --> 00:08:27,433 Okay. 156 00:08:27,616 --> 00:08:28,973 You don't need to write ex. 157 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:34,160 And after that, nobody ever messed with the damn rascals ever again. 158 00:08:34,537 --> 00:08:36,131 Sounds tough. 159 00:08:36,445 --> 00:08:38,690 When you're a jet, your're a jet all the way, right ? 160 00:08:38,745 --> 00:08:39,710 You're a jet ? 161 00:08:39,928 --> 00:08:41,623 Have you signed the expense reports yet? 162 00:08:41,658 --> 00:08:43,282 Yes, in theory I have. 163 00:08:43,318 --> 00:08:45,850 I just need to cross some Ts and dot some Is. 164 00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:48,740 Alright. 165 00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:53,120 I am going to be in my office if anybody needs me. 166 00:08:54,458 --> 00:08:55,603 Oh Michael ! 167 00:08:56,465 --> 00:08:59,191 Sleeper hold. Bedtime for vato. 168 00:08:59,698 --> 00:09:03,361 - Stop it. - You are, the weakest link ! 169 00:09:04,897 --> 00:09:07,250 I'm friends with everybody in this office. 170 00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:10,401 We're all best friends I love everybody here. 171 00:09:10,558 --> 00:09:13,072 But sometimes your best friends, 172 00:09:13,967 --> 00:09:17,661 start coming in to work late and, start having dentist appointments 173 00:09:17,727 --> 00:09:19,123 that aren't dentist appointments. 174 00:09:19,176 --> 00:09:21,310 And that is when it's nice to let them know 175 00:09:21,376 --> 00:09:23,233 that you could beat them up. 176 00:09:23,356 --> 00:09:26,110 - Just hit me. You'll see. - I can't, 177 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,942 - cause I just got a manicure. So... - Oh, queer ! 178 00:09:29,555 --> 00:09:32,153 Eye, Queer Eye. That's a good show. Important show. 179 00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,222 Go ahead, do it. 180 00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:36,300 - Just have Dwight punch you. - Oh, yeah 181 00:09:36,748 --> 00:09:38,352 Well, that would be kind of worthless, 182 00:09:38,398 --> 00:09:41,190 because I know a ton of 14 years old girls who could kick his ass. 183 00:09:41,236 --> 00:09:44,000 - You know a ton of 14-year-old girls ? - What belt are they ? 184 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,013 Look, Dwight is a wuss. 185 00:09:46,348 --> 00:09:47,943 - When we rented Armageddon... - No... 186 00:09:48,028 --> 00:09:49,500 he cried at the end of it. He did. 187 00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:50,540 Michael, I told you... 188 00:09:50,585 --> 00:09:52,223 That was because it was New Year's Eve, 189 00:09:52,267 --> 00:09:54,091 and it started to snow at exactly midnight. 190 00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:56,791 "Oh, Bruce Willis, they're going to leave him on the asteroid." 191 00:09:56,836 --> 00:09:59,000 - Okay I'll punch you. - Okay, here we go. 192 00:09:59,325 --> 00:10:00,511 Alright, come on. 193 00:10:06,685 --> 00:10:09,900 Did I want to harm Michael, the one man I've been hired to protect ? 194 00:10:10,438 --> 00:10:12,380 - No, I did not. - Are you okay ? 195 00:10:12,547 --> 00:10:14,371 - Yes. - Are you sure you're all right ? 196 00:10:14,415 --> 00:10:17,541 Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. 197 00:10:23,305 --> 00:10:25,071 I come from a long line of fighters. 198 00:10:25,368 --> 00:10:28,370 My maternal grandfather, was the toughest guy I ever knew. 199 00:10:28,745 --> 00:10:31,321 World War II veteran. Killed 20 men, 200 00:10:31,668 --> 00:10:34,520 then spent the rest of the war in an allied prison camp. 201 00:10:35,098 --> 00:10:40,000 My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. 202 00:10:41,166 --> 00:10:42,500 Different kind of fight. 203 00:10:44,096 --> 00:10:45,871 Okay, he has to be stopped. 204 00:10:45,995 --> 00:10:48,783 Please, please, please, please, just ask Michael. 205 00:10:51,028 --> 00:10:52,201 - I don't know. - Okay 206 00:10:55,598 --> 00:10:57,010 Okay. I'll buy you a bag of chips. 207 00:10:57,046 --> 00:10:58,200 Why are you twisting around? 208 00:10:58,236 --> 00:10:59,820 - French onion ? - Obviously. 209 00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:01,331 Kevin, why are you spinning around ? 210 00:11:01,366 --> 00:11:02,381 - Okay. - Yes. 211 00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:04,752 Take this pen, okay. 212 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,762 And stab me with it. 213 00:11:07,615 --> 00:11:09,581 - Go away. - I just have a quick question. 214 00:11:09,945 --> 00:11:12,122 I haven't signed them, okay ? 215 00:11:12,575 --> 00:11:13,961 No, it's not that. 216 00:11:14,906 --> 00:11:17,910 I was just wondering, since I'm probably going to have to stay late 217 00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:21,963 could you ask Dwight to stay late too, so he can walk me to my car ? 218 00:11:23,025 --> 00:11:23,852 Nice. 219 00:11:24,527 --> 00:11:25,673 Come in. 220 00:11:28,858 --> 00:11:30,422 Pam, I hate to break this to you, 221 00:11:30,485 --> 00:11:32,752 but Dwight can't stop you from being mugged. 222 00:11:33,188 --> 00:11:34,581 He's just not tough enough. 223 00:11:34,647 --> 00:11:36,322 He's a purple belt. That's really high. 224 00:11:36,375 --> 00:11:38,420 I could beat up Dwight. That's ridiculous. 225 00:11:38,456 --> 00:11:39,562 I can murder him. 226 00:11:39,647 --> 00:11:42,663 - It's just that out there, you... - Oh, is that what they're saying? 227 00:11:42,817 --> 00:11:44,263 - Yeah, kind of. - Okay. 228 00:11:44,676 --> 00:11:45,782 Alright. 229 00:11:46,515 --> 00:11:47,523 Where's Dwight ? 230 00:11:47,577 --> 00:11:48,901 - Kitchen. - Okay. 231 00:11:53,817 --> 00:11:55,062 Try it again. Here we go. 232 00:11:55,925 --> 00:11:56,521 Good. 233 00:11:56,558 --> 00:11:58,700 - It way actually pretty good, right ? - Excellent. 234 00:11:58,726 --> 00:12:00,380 Now watch. Let me take you from behind. 235 00:12:00,427 --> 00:12:02,233 Watch out Kelly, might sucker punch you. 236 00:12:02,376 --> 00:12:04,512 - I didn't sucker punch you Michael. - No, really ? 237 00:12:04,565 --> 00:12:07,201 In case you didn't remember, I was defending my honor. 238 00:12:07,297 --> 00:12:09,121 - Like samoura�. - Really, oh, is that it ? 239 00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:11,630 Well, the offer, Dwight, was for one punch, 240 00:12:11,646 --> 00:12:13,321 which I absorbed. 241 00:12:13,395 --> 00:12:17,773 I had no idea that there'd be a second punch. So, catch-22. 242 00:12:17,936 --> 00:12:20,420 Okay, fine, tit for tit. 243 00:12:20,717 --> 00:12:23,103 Give it your best shot, two punches, go. 244 00:12:23,277 --> 00:12:24,992 Look, if we were in a bar, 245 00:12:25,075 --> 00:12:26,691 right now, there would be two punches. 246 00:12:26,737 --> 00:12:28,521 Me punching you and you hitting the floor. 247 00:12:28,567 --> 00:12:30,750 No, I'd block your first punch, rending ineffective. 248 00:12:30,777 --> 00:12:31,590 - Really - Yeah 249 00:12:31,635 --> 00:12:34,222 You know what, you're just lucky that we're at work right now. 250 00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:37,093 - What about, Dwight's dojo ? - No, they just have classes. 251 00:12:37,118 --> 00:12:38,640 It's free during the day, it's fine. 252 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:39,843 - Look ! - I've got the key. 253 00:12:39,867 --> 00:12:41,091 - Hey, Michael ! - Hey, Toby. 254 00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:41,952 Any word on those... 255 00:12:42,007 --> 00:12:45,000 You know what ? I have an idea, why don't you just leave right now? 256 00:12:45,195 --> 00:12:47,521 Why don't you walk away from the room, okay ? 257 00:12:48,817 --> 00:12:50,030 Fine. 258 00:12:50,205 --> 00:12:51,793 We'll go at lunch. 259 00:12:52,415 --> 00:12:54,791 Pam, make an announcement. 260 00:12:56,065 --> 00:12:57,610 Figure out carpools. 261 00:13:00,616 --> 00:13:03,191 Well, we're all getting excited to see this fight 262 00:13:03,327 --> 00:13:06,710 The Albany branch is working right through lunch to prevent downsizing. 263 00:13:06,955 --> 00:13:10,501 But Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour... 264 00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:14,200 so that we could all go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight. 265 00:13:15,015 --> 00:13:19,513 Fight, Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, I'm coming, fight. 266 00:13:24,267 --> 00:13:25,283 Sorry. 267 00:13:34,125 --> 00:13:38,203 I recognize that. That is Japanese for California roll. 268 00:13:38,437 --> 00:13:39,441 No it's not. 269 00:13:39,477 --> 00:13:41,161 I think it is, a guy told me about that. 270 00:13:41,205 --> 00:13:43,451 Actually, it's a symbol for eternal discipline. 271 00:13:44,398 --> 00:13:46,813 - Wow, that is really interesting. - What ? 272 00:13:47,165 --> 00:13:49,571 Your love line... I'm just kidding, I can't see anything. 273 00:13:49,628 --> 00:13:51,040 Look closer. 274 00:13:51,895 --> 00:13:53,610 - Oh-kay. - One point for me. 275 00:13:53,645 --> 00:13:54,810 - Tied up. - Oh you're dead 276 00:13:54,855 --> 00:13:57,413 What ? What are you going to do? Bring it Beesly. Bring it. 277 00:13:57,577 --> 00:13:58,951 Ooh, yeah. Good move. 278 00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:01,382 Ooh, not such an ultimate fighter now, huh ? 279 00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,690 Hey, put me down. Put me down ! 280 00:14:04,107 --> 00:14:05,851 Oh my God. Hey, put me down. 281 00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:07,260 Hey. 282 00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:13,913 Okay, gentlemen, listen up. 283 00:14:14,545 --> 00:14:16,280 After a clean strike to the chest, 284 00:14:16,376 --> 00:14:19,921 stomach, or kidneys, I will separate you and award a point. 285 00:14:20,158 --> 00:14:21,650 First person to three wins, alright? 286 00:14:21,696 --> 00:14:23,591 - Yes, sensei ! - Lot of rules. Lot of rules. 287 00:14:23,638 --> 00:14:26,232 On the street, we didn't have any rules. Maybe one, 288 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,092 no kicks to the groin, home for dinner. 289 00:14:28,545 --> 00:14:29,601 Hajime! 290 00:14:31,077 --> 00:14:32,661 - What the hell was that ? - Dwight. 291 00:14:32,687 --> 00:14:33,633 - Yes. - No way. 292 00:14:33,646 --> 00:14:34,510 - One point. - Okay. 293 00:14:34,538 --> 00:14:35,422 - Eat it ! - Alright 294 00:14:35,507 --> 00:14:37,471 - That's the way you want to do it ? - Two more. 295 00:14:37,506 --> 00:14:39,700 You want to play dirty, huh? Okay, game on, man. 296 00:14:39,836 --> 00:14:42,103 - Sweep the leg. - I'm coming at you, man. 297 00:14:47,875 --> 00:14:49,523 Ha ! Okay, purple belt. 298 00:14:51,145 --> 00:14:52,533 - Okay, I got it. - No. 299 00:14:52,595 --> 00:14:54,313 - I got his pants. - That was my pants. 300 00:14:54,775 --> 00:14:56,343 No points for pants. 301 00:14:56,995 --> 00:14:59,602 Dwight, you have... No, look. No, you have something... 302 00:14:59,707 --> 00:15:00,972 You have something... 303 00:15:01,226 --> 00:15:03,023 God, you look like such an idiot. 304 00:15:12,195 --> 00:15:13,271 Clean technique gentlemen. 305 00:15:13,388 --> 00:15:15,812 Come on. Do that again. Do that again. I dare you. 306 00:15:17,657 --> 00:15:20,131 Okay, break. Break. No holding. 307 00:15:20,205 --> 00:15:22,631 Oh, you can't see ? You can't see ? 308 00:15:23,128 --> 00:15:25,183 One point. Two points. Three points. 309 00:15:25,295 --> 00:15:27,283 - I said break. - How many points now ? 310 00:15:27,357 --> 00:15:28,673 I win, I win. 311 00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:32,200 No, you didn't. 312 00:15:33,577 --> 00:15:35,563 Eight points, nine points. 313 00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:38,492 Stop it. No. 314 00:15:38,887 --> 00:15:40,531 Come on, Michael! 315 00:15:40,608 --> 00:15:42,572 - Open your mouth. - No, Michael ! 316 00:15:58,227 --> 00:15:59,341 You talkin' to me ? 317 00:16:00,158 --> 00:16:01,620 You talkin' to me ? 318 00:16:02,448 --> 00:16:04,071 Raging Bull, Pacino. 319 00:16:04,636 --> 00:16:06,883 Oh, I want that footage. I want it. I need it. 320 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:10,062 Oh, I have to get back to work. I have lots of work. 321 00:16:10,855 --> 00:16:12,871 Check this out, come here. 322 00:16:13,047 --> 00:16:15,353 There he is, Mr.Temp. 323 00:16:15,445 --> 00:16:17,943 Having lunch by the car. 324 00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:20,740 Let us play with him. 325 00:16:20,797 --> 00:16:22,381 See what we can learn. 326 00:16:29,425 --> 00:16:31,421 Oh, we're playing phone tag. 327 00:16:32,597 --> 00:16:34,533 Seven new messages. 328 00:16:34,607 --> 00:16:36,121 First new message. 329 00:16:36,236 --> 00:16:38,942 Hi, Ryan. This is Saddam Hussein. 330 00:16:39,937 --> 00:16:43,453 - Next message. - Hey Ryan, this is your girlfriend. 331 00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:45,440 And I'm mad. 332 00:17:07,198 --> 00:17:10,582 My emergency contact is Todd Packer. 333 00:17:11,066 --> 00:17:13,971 Todd F. Packer 334 00:17:14,056 --> 00:17:16,292 - You know what the F stands for ? - Fudge ? 335 00:17:17,076 --> 00:17:19,053 Yeah. Oh, come in. 336 00:17:19,615 --> 00:17:21,073 Oh, hey, Karate Kid. 337 00:17:21,488 --> 00:17:23,032 The Hillary Swank version. 338 00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:25,341 Hi, how are you ? 339 00:17:25,557 --> 00:17:27,912 I need to change my emergency contact information 340 00:17:28,075 --> 00:17:29,291 from Michael Scott. 341 00:17:29,777 --> 00:17:32,493 - Okay, to what ? - Just put... 342 00:17:33,576 --> 00:17:34,880 The hospital. 343 00:17:35,417 --> 00:17:36,891 Contact number : 344 00:17:37,175 --> 00:17:38,282 Just put 911. 345 00:17:39,777 --> 00:17:41,871 He is such a sore loser. 346 00:17:42,076 --> 00:17:43,732 You heard obviously, 347 00:17:43,875 --> 00:17:46,451 that I mopped the floor with him this afternoon. 348 00:17:47,986 --> 00:17:51,543 You know what, do yourself a favor. Just leave me as his contact. 349 00:17:51,807 --> 00:17:54,843 And I will call the hospital. Cut out the middleman. 350 00:18:05,266 --> 00:18:07,160 - Later Jim. - Later Kev. 351 00:18:14,137 --> 00:18:16,320 - Have a good weekend. - Yeah, you too. 352 00:18:28,818 --> 00:18:29,842 Yeah. 353 00:18:30,007 --> 00:18:31,460 I have the emergency contacts. 354 00:18:31,587 --> 00:18:34,031 Just lay 'em on the chair. I'll take it from here. 355 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:36,982 So what you up to this weekend ? 356 00:18:38,588 --> 00:18:40,282 Hanging out with some friends probably. 357 00:18:40,317 --> 00:18:42,321 Well, if you do anything crazy, give me a shout. 358 00:18:42,345 --> 00:18:44,340 Yeah. Alright, I will, see you Monday. 359 00:18:44,417 --> 00:18:46,590 Alright. Bye. 360 00:18:55,326 --> 00:18:57,702 - Dwight ? - Michael, did you finish yet ? 361 00:18:57,907 --> 00:19:00,230 This close. Dwight, may I speak with you for a minute. 362 00:19:00,277 --> 00:19:01,292 I'm busy. 363 00:19:01,325 --> 00:19:03,152 Well, busier. But I'm making the time. 364 00:19:03,216 --> 00:19:05,432 Michael, can't your conversation wait till Monday ? 365 00:19:05,537 --> 00:19:06,823 - We want to go home. - Well, 366 00:19:06,927 --> 00:19:09,190 You don't even have anybody to go home to, Toby. So... 367 00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,213 The shipping place closes in a half hour. 368 00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:12,261 I know. 369 00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:15,443 But I've been carrying the load on my back all day. 370 00:19:15,576 --> 00:19:18,471 And if everyone would just chip in a little bit, 371 00:19:19,407 --> 00:19:21,011 might help me out. 372 00:19:21,237 --> 00:19:22,263 What do you say ? 373 00:19:22,398 --> 00:19:24,063 Let's gang bang this thing and go home. 374 00:19:24,125 --> 00:19:25,143 Good. 375 00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:35,320 - This is illegal. - I don't care. 376 00:19:38,788 --> 00:19:41,212 I have been testing you the entire day. 377 00:19:41,317 --> 00:19:42,921 Did you know that ? 378 00:19:44,597 --> 00:19:46,191 Of course. 379 00:19:46,246 --> 00:19:48,342 And I'm happy to say that you passed. 380 00:19:49,217 --> 00:19:51,452 So, effective immediately, I am promoting you, 381 00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:54,062 from assistant to the regional manager 382 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:55,923 to assistant regional manager. 383 00:19:59,667 --> 00:20:00,931 Michael... 384 00:20:01,708 --> 00:20:03,550 I don't know. I, I know. I know. I know. 385 00:20:03,848 --> 00:20:07,033 I know. I wouldn't be offering it if I didn't think you could handle it. 386 00:20:07,138 --> 00:20:10,050 - I can handle it, I can. - I know. Okay. 387 00:20:12,897 --> 00:20:16,011 So I guess this'll just by my office. 388 00:20:16,097 --> 00:20:18,733 No. No. Title change only. 389 00:20:19,136 --> 00:20:21,201 - I'll have Pam send out a memo. - No, nope. 390 00:20:21,275 --> 00:20:22,631 Three month probationary period. 391 00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:25,663 Let's just not tell anybody about this right now. 392 00:20:25,748 --> 00:20:27,391 - Just a formality ? - Absolutely. 393 00:20:27,416 --> 00:20:28,931 But not really. 394 00:20:29,167 --> 00:20:30,483 Michael. 395 00:20:34,216 --> 00:20:38,192 I have so much, to learn, from you. 396 00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:39,861 Yes you do. 397 00:20:43,156 --> 00:20:44,662 Thank you. 398 00:20:46,247 --> 00:20:47,361 Sensei. 399 00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:52,383 And, Ditto. 400 00:20:54,048 --> 00:20:57,000 I told Dwight that there is honor in losing. 401 00:20:57,265 --> 00:20:59,413 Which as we all know is completely ridiculous. 402 00:20:59,496 --> 00:21:03,560 But, there is, however, honor in making a loser feel better. 403 00:21:03,825 --> 00:21:05,602 Which is what I just did for Dwight. 404 00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:09,661 Would I rather be feared or loved ? 405 00:21:10,405 --> 00:21:15,170 Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. 406 00:21:15,727 --> 00:21:18,492 And I think I proved that today at the dojo. 407 00:21:18,665 --> 00:21:21,493 - Typewriter torture. - Sensei help ! 408 00:21:21,597 --> 00:21:23,541 - No. - Typewriter ! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00